Trust is the cornerstone of successful professional relationships. For financial advisors and other professionals, it’s not just a buzzword, it’s a vital driver of business growth. Understanding the components that build trust can strengthen relationships, enhance client satisfaction, and drive profitability.
In this article, we explore the Trust Equation and how intimacy and low self-orientation are essential in establishing and maintaining long-lasting, trust-based client relationships.
1. Intimacy: more than just rapport
Intimacy is about creating a genuine emotional connection with clients. While rapport helps establish a baseline, intimacy fosters a deeper level of trust. It is not built overnight but develops gradually over time. In the Trust Equation, intimacy is a vital component because it makes clients feel understood, safe, and valued.
According to Boaz Lahovitsky, a leader in financial advisory services, empathy is crucial for building intimacy. Financial advisors should connect with clients on both a cognitive and emotional level. For example, when a client shares personal struggles, such as caring for a child with special needs, simply acknowledging the emotional difficulty can go a long way in strengthening the emotional bond. Phrases like, “That must be tough; tell me how you’re handling it,” demonstrate understanding and pave the way for deeper trust.
Building intimacy also means taking emotional risks—asking difficult yet compassionate questions that get to the heart of a client’s decisions. This approach demonstrates empathy and creates a bond that feels more authentic and meaningful.
Examples of intimacy in action:
- Instead of saying “You’re being hesitant,” say “It sounds like you’re feeling uncertain.”
- Allow moments of silence during conversations, rather than rushing to fill the space.
- Respond to personal disclosures with empathy, not just solutions.
- Show vulnerability when appropriate to create a safe space for the client.
Intimacy is not just a skill but a conscious choice to be emotionally present with your client. When genuine, this connection accelerates trust and deepens the client-advisor relationship.
2. Self-orientation: the silent trust killer
While intimacy helps build trust, high self-orientation can destroy it quickly. Self-orientation refers to moments when clients sense that the advisor’s focus is on their own interests rather than the client’s needs. This isn’t just about selfishness, it can be any behaviour where the client feels that the advisor is more concerned with their own reputation, knowledge, or outcomes.
Examples of high self-orientation include:
- Trying to appear overly knowledgeable or smart.
- Pushing your own agenda or trying to close a deal.
- Becoming uncomfortable with uncertainty or not having an immediate answer.
- Acting distracted, rushed, or disengaged during the conversation.
Clients can easily sense when the advisor’s attention is not fully on them, and this can lead to diminished trust.
How to reduce self-orientation:
- Practice reflective listening: Summarize and repeat what the client says before offering advice.
- Be curious: Ask more questions and offer fewer solutions.
- Admit when you don’t know something: Faking confidence only weakens trust.
- Shift your focus: Instead of asking, “How can I win this client?” ask, “How can I help this client think more clearly?”
The key to building trust in every interaction is making the client the centre of attention, rather than focusing on your own expertise or agenda.
3. The trust equation: a tool to measure trust
A useful model for understanding trust in client relationships is the Trust Equation, developed by Trusted Advisor Associates. This equation breaks down trust into four measurable components:
Trust = (credibility + reliability + intimacy) / self-orientation
Here’s a breakdown of each component:
- Credibility: what you know and how well you communicate your knowledge.
- Reliability: how dependable you are in delivering what you promise.
- Intimacy: the level of emotional safety and connection the client feels with you.
- Self-Orientation: the degree to which the client perceives you as focused on their needs versus your own.
Takeaway: the single most effective way to increase trust is by lowering self-orientation, which improves the trust equation more rapidly than increasing technical expertise alone.
4. Bringing it all together
Both intimacy and low self-orientation are not just “soft skills”; they are fundamental to building long-term, trusted client relationships. These elements often differentiate a good advisor from a great one.
As a trusted advisor, your success is not just determined by what you know, but by how you make clients feel. When clients feel safe, heard, and understood, their trust in you grows, and they return to you time and time again.
Questions for reflection:
- In your last client conversation, were you more focused on listening or responding?
- How often do you pause before offering advice?
- What might happen if you let go of the need to be right and instead focused on being helpful?
Building trust doesn’t come from constantly proving your expertise. It comes from being present, staying curious, and always putting the client’s needs first.